I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
