Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
