the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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