Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
