Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
