i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
