I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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