Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
