My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
