bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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