Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
