True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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