The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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