Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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