Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
