I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
