Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I would ride that face into the sunset
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
