the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
