And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
