I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
