I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Randomize
