My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
