so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
it hurts more in the daytime
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
