I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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