They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
