Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
