i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
