this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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