My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
