I got chris browned last night
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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