How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
