I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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