The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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