I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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