let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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