just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
