You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
