just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
