I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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