low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
