Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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