The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
