yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
