I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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