i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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