No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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