I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
