You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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