Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
