So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
