I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
